Chisses....

Ill Be The Rock You Can Build On

2006-04-15T15:07:22Z

Im spending the weekend with Tim - his idea, and to be fair its a good idea we spend as much time together the two of us before theres a little Tim and Beth squawking every four hours. However - Im so excited about my little boy coming I really dont mind if he wants to sit and cry at me all night. Dont quote me on that when hes teething though. Anyway; so me and tim have spent the last couple days together which is always great fun. I love spending time with him, its so reassuring to spend time with him talking about the baby and what a lovely family we will be.. finally.

We did have a littl arguement over the fact he asked me to go away with him to Australia in November. Its something Tim has always wanted to do; I remember when we first met he told me he had fufilled most of his ambitions but the one he wanted to do more than anything was to go to Australia. So I am all for him going - but I wont leave my little boy here for 2 weeks. So then he suggested I take him with us, but I wouldnt do that either as its unfair on the baby - the length of a flight, the heat etc.. and I wont leave him. So we've agreed he can go and he can go with any friend he likes I honestly do not mind and we will go away to france or spain the following year when our sons a little older so he can come too! =x

We still cannot decide on baby boy names so any unusual but powerful suggestions appreciated! I love Ka'leb and Tim loves Morgan so any ideas?

I bought the most amazing top today - it says 'Pregnant women are SO hot' as I am getting fed up of nobody knowing Im pregnant. I am 33 weeks pregnant and nobody realises Im pregnant. I have such a deep pelvis he sits in there nicely so, I ve bought a top to declare to the world I am pregnant. I also bought some 5 inch black stilleto's and a black mini dress - I may be pregnant, but I would never trade my heels for flats - EVER. I think thats the mistake some women make and then theyre surprised when their partners look at them more as incubators then goddesses. I always make sure I have my make up and hair done and have a set of killer heels on to match. The midwife always looks at me a little odd when I teeter in to the maternity hospital with sky scraper heels but I just smile and hand them my pot of pee and let them get on with it!

Anyway, I best go wash this deep conditioning mask out of my hair. Have a lovely bank holiday everyone - go get pissed out of your head and go clubbing for me. I miss grinding with my boytoy after several blue lagoons. Kisses.

Forever Young

2006-04-12T10:08:04Z

May the good Lord be with you
Down every road you roam
And may sunshine and happiness
surround you when you're far from home
And may you grow to be proud
Dignified and true
And do unto others
As you'd have done to you
Be courageous and be brave
And in my heart you'll always stay
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young

May good fortune be with you
May your guiding light be strong
Build a stairway to heaven
with a prince or a vagabond

And may you never love in vain
and in my heart you will remain
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young
Forever Young

And when you finally fly away
I'll be hoping that I served you well
For all the wisdom of a lifetime
No one can ever tell

But whatever road you choose
I'm right behind you, win or lose
Forever Young, Forever Young
Forever Young ,Forever Young
Forever Young, Forever Young
For, Forever Young, Forever Young

Pregnancy

2006-04-05T17:16:50Z

Pregnancy is a very strange part of a womans life. Your expected to feel so many things; so many women feel its their duty to tell you what will happen and how you will feel. Im determind not to be the type of person who stops a pregnancy woman in mothercare and tell her how awful pregnancy is - when in actual fact it isn't. Not one bit. Its exhausting, but not terrible. For me anyway- Ive had no sickness, no swollen ankles, no back ache of any kind.. the only thing I have suffered from is a rapid pulse rate, but thats because my bodys tired. I was stopped today in the middle of looking at car seats to be first asked "have you had any sickness?" and I turned round and said "no not at all, I guess Im lucky" giggled and continued to look at the shelf for a macho car seat only to be tapped on the shoulder and told "oh you will though luv' I thought I Was lucky but I have it every morning since Ive turned 7 months gone" and then waddled off.. It sounds silly and ridiculous but these things do wind me up. By all means give me your opinion, but dont tell me what will happen. Its ever so frustrating.

The best part of it all is knowing that in under 9 weeks I will have a little boy wrapped up in blue blankets dressed immaculately in his blue baby combats, blue jacket, blue hat, blue sratch mittens and blue shoes.. And not any little boy, but our little boy. Something that even though unplanned, is so absoloutely beautiful and perfect. Counting the days...

I finish work on the 21st April finally. I would be lying if I said I wasn't shattered. Im 7 months pregnant and doing 40 hours weeks - but its all worth it to know that my son is in the very best his mum could provide for him. From the first minute everyone finds out my age they expect my son to be in second hand goods - not that there is anything wrong with that, but they expect me to provide nothing for him and expect everyone else to do it i.e. the state. So, even though I end up falling asleep at 7pm every night out of sheer exhaustion, I think how proud I am of myself and how proud I will be of my little boy when I push his Mama and Papas elite 3 wheel pram and how proud I will be when everyone comments on how well dressed he is. It may sound stupid and petty, but its one of those things.

I may be a young mum, and the situation may not be ideal - but Ill do the best I can with all I can. Which in a way, only goes to show just how strong I am - Ive surprised myself at the girl I am deep down.

My Little Angel..

2006-04-01T13:35:55Z

I'm back - with a decent Livejournal too. I figured I may as well just buy one, all this fussing around with free ones just didn't work. So I have one now for 12 months atleast. So..

Where to start? I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my first little boy - and I am delighted, counting the days down until I can see his little face and hold his little hands. Of course I was not expecting to fall pregnant yet and if I could of let my little Ka'leb sleep inside me for another 2 years I probably would of negotiated it back in January but now I just count down the days. It isn't good timing, and he wasnt planned but I cannot wait to have my little cherub. The only thing that frightens me is the world Im bringing him into but as long as he has his mum he will be fine. Im so protective of him now, I dread to think what I will be like when hes here.

Me and Tim ARE still together. We had a rough patch when I found out I was pregnant, but we come thorugh it and in a way I think its shown me two things. One just how much I want to have my little boy now and two - just how strong me and Tim are. I fell pregnant with Ka'leb the day we got engaged and I lived the normal life of a 18 year old until January when I found out I Was actually 5 months pregnant with this little person. And my little boy survived all that, fortunate I never have smoked so he wasn't at risk of that and also I dont drink much anymore as my friends are away at university so I never go out so in a way Im grateful I had such a boring new years eve..!

As I live work in 3 weeks I thought ID start a livejournanl now so I have something to do all those days leading up to having him. Plus I can post pictures of me and him along the way, it will be like being at Sweet sins again but without all the boobs, just me being Beth again. And thats another thing Ive found out about myself since finding out Im soon to be a mum - how nice just being Beth is again. I feel beautiful all the time as I have such a strong little boy to look after now, having him makes me feel beautiful and strong. Its so hard to explain. With every kick I fall more and more in love with him...